1) Be understanding. As you may know, most single moms can’t drop everything on a whim to spend time with the men in their lives. However, with the proper planning and rearranging, most single moms enjoy a wonderful dating and social life! So, just give her a little notice.
2) Be understanding. Most single moms are (or should be) careful with their home space. For instance, a wise single mom wouldn’t consider having you exposed to her children unless she really knows and trusts you. For instance, she may not let you meet her children immediately or she may not invite you in after a dinner date. Another example is that a single mom may opt to meet you at a restaurant as opposed to allowing you to pick her up from her home. More than likely, she’s protecting her home space.
3) Be sensitive. Many single moms are products from painful divorces and hurtful past relationships. With this being so, a new man in her life might need to be exceedingly sensitive and aware that some single moms are a little gun-shy or fearful of being hurt.
4) Be realistic. Lots of moms are not looking for a make-shift daddy for their families. Most women are working, educating themselves and successfully raising their children on their own without a father in the house. So, for starters, don’t assume that the single mom that you’re dating wants or needs you to play “daddy” or spend time with her kids (early in the relationship). Focus your time on getting acquainted with the “woman” you are dating. Forget about the other stuff. After all, she’s not really a big “package”. Think of it this way: you’re spending time with a beautiful woman. Not the beautiful woman, plus her ex-husband, plus the children, with the dog and divorce lawyer!
5) Be patient. A single mom will more than likely move a lot slower than completely unattached women. A single mom, is less likely to “fall into bed” with a man that is expendable or temporary. This is not because she is “scared” so much as she understands that she can’t afford a lot of heartache and drama in her life. She understands that her emotional state affects her children. So be patient.
6) Be honest. Don’t play games with any woman, much less a single mom. If you’re looking for a quick unattached situation, let her know it at the onset. Who knows, she could be looking for something casual too. However, mislead her by spending excessive time building trust and intimacy only to abandon her later. This is sophomoric, childish and cruel. Instead, be forthcoming about what you want from the relationship and be brutally honest. A simple conversation about expectations could ward off a lot of anguish later.
Teri Worten is a freelance writer and the founder of the inspirational website for women and single moms called Gotta Be Me, Girl.Com. Visit Gotta Be Me Girl at http://www.gottabemegirl.com or http://www.teriworten.com. She has been featured on various television and radio shows as well as numerous publications in the metropolitan Kansas City area. Her passion is motivating and inspiring other women to reach their fullest potential.
Submitted by: Teri Worten *
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