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Top : Single Mothers : How to Spot a Loser?

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How to Spot a Loser?

1. He doesn't take care of his kids from previous relationship(s)…

Any man that doesn't spend time with and financially support his children has serious "issues". Sure, some people have temporary financial struggles and can’t pay their child support from time to time, but it should not and can not become an ongoing situation of neglect. A father should always work to take care of his children - period. If he's not even trying, then he's a loser in my book.

2. He is jealous and/or insecure

A jealous man is foolish.

Usually, the very qualities that make you appealing to him are the same qualities that make you attractive to others.

If your guy is often jealous, you have a few options. First talk to him about it. Reassure him that he is the only one for you. If his fits of jealousy become too severe, run, single mom, run.

3. He yells, hits or disrespects you (duh!)

No explanation needed.

4. He isn't interested in your children

This is a tricky situation. Surely, you don't want to expose your children to someone that isn't potentially a permanent (or long-term) fixture in your life, but by the same measure, you don't want to allow too much time to lapse before he meets your kids. Some people wait years and then are confused when the children are bitter, resentful and territorial.

You want a man who is interested in every aspect of your life. It's nice when a man endeavors to become acquaint with your children through you and your conversations about them.

5. He insists you always pay for your own dinner, movies, etc.

If a man wants you to pay for everything, go ahead and let the cheapskate go. Love is a two-way street. It’s give and take. Sure, you should bless him with gifs, dinner or a movie from time to time, but if he insists that you pay for more than your share, then you should run, girl, run!

I love the old fashioned values. I'm a woman and I love being treated like a woman. However, dont' always have your hand out. Freely give and be a blessings.

6. He has bad credit and doesn't care

We've all made mistakes from time to time, but part of being an adult is taking the initiative to correct them. If a man is dodging bill collectors and complaining about their frequent calls - beware!

7. He doesn't respect his mother…

You can always tell how a man will treat you based on how he treats his mother or his sister. If he's rude, crude and disrespectful to them, he will more than likely treat you the same way. Inquire about his relationship with his mom. If it's filled with drama or tension then tread carefully, single mom.

8. He insists on sex before marriage…

Men who are overly consumed with sex are animals with no control - dogs in head! Again, sex is best when enjoyed in the confines of a marriage relationship. In spite of God admonishing us along these lines, most women can attest to the yucky problems pre-marital sex can cause when people jump into it without a legitimate commitment

9. He doesn't encourage you to pursue your dreams

Some men are not interested in where you are going, only in where you are now. So, it's important to find a companion that is interested and supportive of the wonderful woman that you are developing into. Don't fall into the common trap of seeking a mate that is only "now" minded. Similarly, don’t pick someone that is only good for your “now” season.

10. No Spiritual Foundation

Sorry, but I have found that men who are not Christians or of strong faith are usually oil to my spiritual water. God certainly had the right idea when He advised us to date only within our faith. After all, how can two effectively walk together unless they agree?

Teri Worten is a freelance writer and the founder of the inspirational website for women and single moms called Gotta Be Me, Girl.Com. Visit Gotta Be Me Girl at or She has been featured on various television and radio shows as well as numerous publications in the metropolitan Kansas City area. Her passion is motivating and inspiring other women to reach their fullest potential.

Submitted by: Teri Worten *

18-Apr-2003 Hits: 1210 Rating: 8.14 Votes: 7 Rate It

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