If you're considering divorce you are not alone. There
comes a time is most marriages when the decision to
stay together or divorce must be made. There are valid
and statistical reasons for this as well as personal.
We are living much longer. Our current average lifespan
of 80 compared to the average lifespan in the 1800's of
55 ads 25 years on to our married life.
In addition we live in a disposable society. Almost
everything we use today can just be "thrown away".
This attitude has transferred onto people, regarding
Of course there are other variables involved when
considering divorce but these certainly are the catalysts.
What if you knew your life was about to end? What if
there weren't so many single men and women available on
the "other side"? Would you still consider divorce or would
you choose to work on your marriage?
One person in a marriage is always tempted with the
proverbial "greener grass" on the other side. The narcissism
our society teaches us, makes us constantly ask ourselves,
"Why should I put up with my spouse's behavior" and "I know
I can do" better". (This does not refer to mental or
physical abuse. Those circumstances warrant a quick exit!)
Usually people consider divorce because they want better,
they see greener grass on the other side and they want that.
They want a better spouse, better lifestyle. They want
someone and something different.
Is different better?
If everyone can do better, why are the dating services and
singles chat rooms full? By better do we mean alone?
People who consider divorce should talk to people who have
been divorced awhile. They just might go back to their
spouses with a different outlook, a renewed interest in
getting to know this person you have lived so long with.
Your spouse knows everything about you and loves you
anyway. Isn't that what we all want? Think about how
much time and effort you have put into building your life,
raising your children. Your seeds have already been
planted, your grass is growing.
When you were little, you built things that commanded
a lot of time and effort such as, Lego, a large puzzle or
sandcastle. When someone came along and broke it
didn't you get angry at the loss? You were being totally
disregarded and disrespected. All the time and effort you
put into your labor of love was ruined wasted. You most
likely cried, " Now I have to start all over!"
That's a tip of the iceberg called "divorce".
You have to start over completely. Except, now you are
middle aged and the "starting over" is much more serious
and difficult. It's not just you and your spouse that will
have to start over. You are forcing your children to start
over as well. You are ruining their sandcastle.
If you are considering divorce, have another look at your
spouse and your life. Try to find ways to grow together
that will keep the foundation you have already spent years
building, secure. Water your grass.
Forget about the other side. The grass is not greener,
on this side you will have to plant the seeds.
"Divorce Strategy for Men and Women" is
your guide through the divorce maze.
Discover how you can reduce legal fees,
stay out of court and maintain your
parenting rights because you will not
get a second chance!
Submitted by: Liz Wertman *
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