The word congers up so many meanings. Webster's
Dictionary describes single as -being the only one;
unmarried; unique; solitary, for one person or thing.
To someone in a bad marriage the word would mean
peace. To another, being in an unhappy relationship,
single would be seen as freedom. But to men and women
everywhere that are not in a relationship it signifies
loneliness, a condition that needs to be rectified.
We live in a society that is quick to get out of
relationships, then just as quick to get back
in so the word "single" does not attach itself
to them for long. Being single is just too
embarrassing. You feel left out if you're single.
You can't; double date with your friends, go to
couple parties, entertain couples etc.
This creates the need for the hundreds of dating
services available, on and off line. A friend recently
convinced me to join an online dating forum. A quick
look around made me see how many men and
women are looking for the same thing - a soul
mate. Almost every ad mentions," looking for my
soul-mate". Most of the ads are so serious,
screaming in desperation- " I have tried every
where, please let me find you here!" The ads
list their wants like a shopping list that needs
to be met in a hurray- "attention shoppers ten
minutes until closing".
I decided on a different approach. I titled mine
"Auction! Model 8! Mint Condition!" I then went
on to list my "features and options" like I was
a rare car up for auction. Instead of "looking for"
I put "bidder's requirements". Do I expect to
meet my true love this way? No, but I have had
some interesting chats!
For me, being single is a good way to be right
now. I am happy and content. Being alone has
allowed me to get to know myself and make
changes that I feel are necessary for myself
and any future relationship. How can you be in
a relationship and not know who you are deeper
than- I like this, I like that? That's why so
many people "lose themselves" or "get taken
over" by their mates. When the relationship ends,
they are lost. That other person had literally
become their whole life.
If you are in a relationship right now, take the
time to get to know yourself independently of
your partner. Create separate interests, goals
and friends. When you are together, you will
bring more to the table. If the relationship ends,
you will not be as devastated.
You will always have you.
If you are single right now, spend time with
yourself, your thoughts. By making yourself
busy every minute of the day you are only
avoiding yourself. Make the time to spend
By asking and finding out who you are, your
life will be full no matter what you do or who
you do it with. Your burning need to "find
someone" will be lessened because you
will be self-satisfied.
You will become your own soul mate. You will
change your search to "looking for a companion
But beware! The dating services might go out of business!
By Liz Wertman,
"Divorce Strategy for Men and Women"
Your guide through the divorce maze.
Discover what your spouse & lawyer
don't want you to know.
Submitted by: Liz Wertman *
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