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Top : Love and Romance : Saturday Night : What to Do? 

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Saturday Night : What to Do?

Figuring out what to do on a Saturday night is the easy bit. The hard part is avoiding misunderstandings about what it is you're really after. Whether it's everlasting love or burning lust, you'll want to tailor your plans accordingly. The following guidelines should help you clearly and effectively convey your true intentions.

  • ASKING HER/HIM OUT

    IF IT'S LOVE
    Call at least four days in advance, requesting the pleasure of her/his company.
    IF IT'S LUST
    Call her/him at least 20 minutes in advance, and ask, "Can I come over?"


  • DRESSING FOR THE EVENING

    IF IT'S LOVE
    Maximize class factor. Channel best stuff mother gave you.
    IF IT'S LUST
    Maximize jiggle factor. Channel whatever is handy.


  • EATING IN

    IF IT'S LOVE
    Cook most the meal yourself, but invite your partner to join you for the finishing touches, to give a sense of partnership. This meal should convey the idea that loving domesticity can be a feast for the senses. Choose a homey yet delicious menu, such as roast chicken or rack of lamb. Drizzle truffle oil over mashed potatoes, transforming this ordinary dish into a veritable bowl of luxuriousness.
    IF IT'S LUST
    Prepare appetizers before your guest arrives: finger food, nothing fancy. Keep the lighting low. The idea is that he/she may nibble, but YOU are the main course.


  • EATING OUT

    IF IT'S LOVE
    Choose a restaurant based on romantic potential: soft lighting, somewhat quiet ambiance, a menu rooted in the Romance Languages: French, Spanish, Italian.
    IF IT'S LUST
    Choose a restaurant where you can order over-rich foods—oysters, foie gras, chocolate mousse—that spoil quickly, implying that this is a one-time opportunity, and there's no chance of a repeat performance.


  • WHEN THE BILL ARRIVES

    IF IT'S LOVE
    Discreetly take it as soon as it arrives, and don't allow her to see it. Decline her offer to split it with you. After all, her/his company is payment enough.
    IF IT'S LUST
    Look at the bill. Then look at him/her. Say, "So. Are you coming over?" ;)


  • GOING TO THE MOVIES

    IF IT'S LOVE
    Ask her/him if there's anything he'd/she'd like to see. After all, how bad can Samurai Tomb Destroyer 4 really be?
    IF IT'S LUST
    Choose something boring. Sit in the back row.


  • RENTING A VIDEO

    IF IT'S LOVE
    Go for a popular drama, comedy, or foreign film.
    IF IT'S LUST
    Reach for the box labeled, "Terms of Endearment." But make sure you've switched the video inside with the adult title, "Terms of Endowment." Once you've turned it on, feign surprise, then say, "Well, we might as well watch this one."


  • GOING TO A PARTY

    IF IT'S LOVE
    Tell him/her she's the most beautiful/handsome guy/gal in the room. Then take her up on the roof or into the garden to look at the stars. Kiss him/her on the lips.
    IF IT'S LUST
    Tell her/him he/she's the hottest thing in the room. Then go into the bathroom. Kiss everywhere but the lips.


  • THROWING YOUR OWN PARTY

    IF IT'S LOVE
    Proudly introduce her/him to everyone as "M..., my boyfriend/girlfriend." Don't invite ex's unless they're truly good friends with no ulterior motives.
    IF IT'S LUST
    Just say, "This is M...." Look uncomfortable. Make sure you invited as many of your exes as you could. If it doesn't work out with M...., maybe you'll get lucky with one of them.


  • CULTURAL EVENTS

    IF IT'S LOVE
    Surprise with box seats at the opera/football. Offer to buy him/her a momento.
    IF IT'S LUST
    Surprise him/her with seats at a strip club. Offer to buy him/her a lap dance from big John/Jane.

    by Coco Helado
    Revised for SPN
    Mix 'n Match Copyright (c) 2001 OneandOnly.com Inc.
    ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

    One and Only

    Submitted by: Coco Helado *  

    15-Jul-2001         Hits: 505     Rating: 0     Votes: 0      Rate It


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